*Snort/evil smile. You have no idea :D
I made myself a backup. So, if they started texting desperately for players because they needed more to actually be allowed to play, I was very willing to show up.
There is one particular game I remember very vividly. The 'coach' of our hurridly put together team had to have me in for this girl that got hurt (Young Women's basketball is violent!) "You're a center Sarah!"
... Oh good. Centers aren't supposed to be tall. I'm rather short afterall. Or... are they? Or is that the forwards? Or is that the... cheerleaders? Do the cheerleaders ever play? I want to be a cheerleader!
Er...
From the sidelines: "Sarah! What on earth are you doing?"
Uh.... Playing... basketball? Isnt' that what I'm doing? I know how to try to shoot baskets... I felt like I looked like a clown. I shrugged back to her.
She called us all in for a quick timeout. "Okay. Sarah. You are going to be here, on the right hand corner of the court in this box. Do not leave the box, but if someone comes in it, attack!"
Fair enough. Being violent is not too hard.... Whoo! Buffoon!
"Foul on 12!"
Another switcheroo. The other girl was in again. "Sarah. you can't be that violent. You'll get fouled and kicked out."
But you told me.... huh? Better honk my excessively large red nose that squeaks.
I got back in again for a girl that was wearing a wrist brace and it was hurting a lot. She was the best girl on the team, but needed a desperate break. The coach looked like she was going to cry. I'll cover my eyes with my excessively large white gloves to make her feel better.
The game began again. "SARAH! Wrong way! What the crap are you doing?!"
Oh. So... this basket isn't the one we are supposed to score on?
The girl with the brace got put in for someone else. Great. I'm still on the team. Uh... Whoo!
"Just do what you want Sarah. Your game"
So this is when the fun begins :)
I made quite sure to not touch anyone. Just guard one person. Who was really in the same position I was. As we ran back and forth across the court, we both decided that we had no idea what we were doing except running after an indecisive and inanimate object. The stupid ball.
Somehow, I got the ball. I don't even remember how. I just remember being horrified that I had it.
There is one thing I know I'm good at. Stupid faces. And frankly? I don't care if I look like an idiot when I'm actually trying to.
So I ran down the court (yes, the right direction now) with my tongue out and laughing. When someone came and tried to take it I squealed, acted like someone had splashed me, and passed it to someone on my team. It got passed back and forth as I turned to our small audience and waved at my best friend's crush. The same one that she had convinced her dad that I liked. It's just an ongoing joke. She wouldn't care. Just laugh. I wished she were here...
*SMACK
Ow. My head. I'm going to have a headache now... Oh well. I laughed and laughed on the ground and kept going.
Back and forth. Back and forth. Are we sure we aren't playing human ping pong?
Got to our audience again. I did a stupid hand motion at someone across the court on the opposing team. More laughter. Moose antlers with my hands on top of my hands. I got strange looks for that....
To the other side? Again? This was getting tedious! So I "Irish danced" back to the other side instead of skipping. Now is that possible with large, plastic, red shoes? I don't think so! I'm loosing my clown status dang it!
Well, somehow we wound up winning the game. When we got back in my coach was laughing for some reason...
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